I recently did another Q&A on Twitter, and so have picked My favourite questions to answer below. Hopefully you will enjoy getting to see a slightly different side to Me through My answers (and for those of you who just come here for a perv, I’ve included plenty of eye candy to appease you lot too)…
Do you think a mistress should ever apologise to their submissive, for any reason?
If a Mistress has done something which warrants an apology to their submissive then I believe without a doubt that they should give it. A violation of a hard limit or consent is what immediately springs to mind for Me as an obvious example. Yes I am Dominant, and yes I am Superior, but My submissives are still human. They are still deserving of My care and respect for their boundaries both in and outside of play.I personally really dislike the idea that a ‘real Domme’ would never show caring for their submissive.
Never showing compassion to your slaves is the opposite of My ethos. I would also be wary of a submissive who thought less of a Domme for apologising. If you believe yourself to be so worthless you are undeserving of a (warranted) apology, then of what worth can you possibly be to a Dominant?I would say to My fellow Dommes to never feel reluctant to apologise if you have wronged your submissive. And to submissives, I would say that a Domme who apologies to you is a Domme who sees your submission as the gift that it is.
What are your techniques for cuckolding?
I am a lover of cuckolding, and there are so many aspects to it (as is true of so many fetishes). It follows that the techniques I use depends entirely on the submissive, and which aspects of cuckolding specifically work best within O/our dynamic. Do they love the idea of being humiliated for not being man enough to fuck Me?
Perhaps then I will spit in their face and command them to lick My feet whilst My lover pleases Me properly. Perhaps they enjoy the denial and frustration of seeing another man satisfy Me? Maybe I will lock them away in a chastity device throughout so that they can’t even pleasure themselves. Perhaps their fetish has a financial twist? Then I might allow them to buy Me expensive lingerie and have them watch whilst My stud peels it off Me. Personally, I think these are all equally hot scenarios.
A little snapshot for the cucks amongst you…
How insanely sexy do you look in a GP5 gasmask?
Sadly I can neither confirm nor deny seeing as I don’t have one! I do rock a military hat though…
What does being owned mean and what does it mean the slave has to do?
Being owned is not a privilege I hand out lightly to any and every slave who serves Me. It means they have pleased Me enough to earn it. It means that they have demonstrated over months or even years their devotion to Me. That they are obedient, devoted, subservient, eager to please and eager push their boundaries (within reason) in order to make Me happy.
Usually, it also means that O/our dynamic has also grown and evolved into more ‘personal’ servitude. Whilst they may still come for their professional play sessions, they also dedicate time to helping make My life easier… whether that be doing administration for Me, or pet sitting, or cleaning, or chauffeuring. They dedicate time and energy to doing chores for Me which are non-sexual but which help make My life easier and more pleasurable. These submissives have earned the privilege to wear My collar, and are My most valuable and cherished slaves.
Have you got a marking or tattoo that you make loyal slaves who are genuine get to show your ownership? When you collar a slave is it padlocked so can only be removed by you?
I have only ever had a slave tattooed once. We discussed together what marking W/we wanted, and decided on a bow which matched My own tattoos along with My initials, above his cock. It was a very special day trip W/we took, and seemed a fitting symbol of his devotion to Me and My ownership of him.
With regards to the collar, in play sessions I use a padlocked traditional ‘leather’ collar. However, usually when I collar a slave as a symbol of ownership I choose a discreet collar, which means they can then wear it all the time. This is still locked, but generally doesn’t have an obvious padlock.
A few of My tattoos, which some of you may not have ever seen…
Do You like keeping your professional life and personal life separate?
To a certain extent, yes, although there is some crossover. Fortunately, I’m able to be open with those in My personal life about My work. I have a few kinky friends and of course lovers who I play with. I allow only a select few slaves I trust to serve Me in My personal life. However, I learned very early on in My career as a Dominatrix how difficult it can be if you burn yourself out by letting your professional life take precedence over your personal.
Now I am fairly strict with Myself not to work too much. Setting aside ample time at the weekend to relax is a priority for Me. I take long baths, do yoga and spend time with My nearest and dearest. I turn off My phone and ignore My emails until Monday rolls around. Keeping a good work/life balance makes Me healthier and happier both at home and in the dungeon 😊
What’s your favourite type of latex outfit to wear?
I currently have a collection which takes up an entire side of My double wardrobe! But My all time favourite piece is My House of Harlot corseted catsuit…
Maybe too personal a topic, but I wonder why you do vanilla dating?
I often ask Myself that same question too! 😊 The truth however is that all of My relationships with people who strongly identify as submissive have failed spectacularly. Domming professionally is incredibly draining. The last thing I want or need is to come home and feel like My time connecting with a partner feels like being at work. Just like a mismatch in sex drives can cause a relationship to fall apart, so can a mismatch in the amount of kink you each want/need.
It’s hard for Me to reject a partners advances because I am too tired after a long day at work. And, it must be equally hard for My partner to hear that when they know I have been doing what they want all day long with other people. Having said that, I do prefer to date people who identify as kinky. I enjoy topping My partners occasionally, and I enjoy having experimental sex. I also want My partners to understand an support My career choice.
I’m very upfront about what I do for a living, and I’ll admit that vanilla dating can get really difficult and weird when you throw the fact you are also a sex worker into the mix! Having said all that though, don’t feel too terrible for Me. I do have a partner and lovers who I get to spend time with and who respect My boundaries. But, as I’m non-monogamous My dating adventures (/misadventures) will likely continue for the rest of My life.I could probably write an entire blog detailing the difficulties of navigating dating as a Dominatrix who practices polyamory, so maybe I will… next time 😉
Mistress Lola Ruin is a deliciously kinky Professional Dominatrix. With over 8 years experience, She therefore holds all of Her sessions at a fully equipped playspace in Manchester. She is a truly world class Domme. As one of the finest Dominas in the North West, Mistress Lola Ruin is especially selective about who She allows in Her Dungeon. Read all Her FemDom exploits on Her Blog. Drool over Her gallery of Pro-Domme photos. Read testimonials written by Her loyal slaves. Lola Ruin also loves to visit London to offer Domination sessions to submissives in the capital. Sign up to Her mailing list and be told of tour dates. Domme Lola Ruin loves all kinds of BDSM play, especially adores Ruined Orgasms, Latex and Foot worship fetishes. A well-known Clips4Sale Mistress, She consequently loves to film Female Domination content for Her loyal subs. Request your own custom clip from Her here.