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Questions & Answers...

By MistressLolaRuin | February 26, 2018

Time for another Twitter 'Questions & Answers' blog, peppered with some snaps from My latest photoshoot for those of you who just come here to shamelessly perv...

What amuses you the most in a sub Miss Lola?

The look on their face when I ruin their orgasm... hysterical.

What is that you find the most enjoyable to do when dominating?

For Me, My enjoyment of Domination comes from the power exchange. My sessions tend to revolve around control rather than outright pain. Although I love to dish out a caning, I tend to find psychological domination more thrilling than physical. Even My sessions which are focused on pain tend to have a more psychological motivation to it as opposed to just 'pain for pains sake' (as in, training a submissive to take more cane strokes than last time, or using pain as a way for them to earn a reward). Sessions focusing on control in any and all forms, such as orgasm control/denial, chastity, edging, ruined orgasm, cuckolding, worship, tend to be My forte.

Is it a pain to clean whips or canes after a particularly brutal whipping/caning on a sub?

Not really. Sterilising is a fairly straightforward procedure. What can be more difficult is cleaning a room, especially after a brutal caning session or an aggressive sploshing session!

How do You get such a perfect body? How do you stay in such good shape?

I don't particularly watch what I eat, although I only eat plant-based food which I am sure helps. I don't do any regular exercise outside of the occasional yoga class. Annoyingly I am just one of those people who manages to stay fairly slim. I mostly put it down to good genes, although I am sure spending My teenage years dancing professionally helped Me attain such curvy leg muscles, and a stint of tightlacing when I was 17 helped shape Me a smaller waist.

How do you decide which implement to use to spank or whip someone?

Generally speaking I pick items I find the most pleasing to use, which depends on the implements. I like My floggers to be weighty but easy to swing. As it helps My aim, I prefer My canes on the medium-thin size, straight and short. I like paddles to be firm and rigid. I much prefer a wooden paddle over a floppy tawse or strap. If I am using a number of implements, I'll begin with the softest and work up to the hardest/most painful, unless I am feeling particularly cruel!

If you were 50 feet tall, what would You do?

Squish silly little subs under My pretty red toes, obviously... 🙂

Mistress what was the best first impression any sub ever made on you as a professional domme?

Many of My subs make a great first impression, it's actually surprisingly easy. The steps to making a great first impression with Me are...

  1. Following My booking procedure exactly as it is outlined. This generally starts with My slave application form. A clear, well written application which indicates you have read My website and you are already off to a great start.
  2. Following all subsequent instructions to the letter. Calling to confirm your session at the time requested. Not badgering Me with endless questions or requests. Always treating Me with respect and courtesy. Turning up to your session on time.
  3. I am not particularly interested in or adept at FinDom, however... slaves who bring Me a gift to their first session tend to impress Me. Not because they have spent extra money on Me, but because it demonstrates a certain approach to their submission immediately. They have taken the time to read My wishlist page. They've then gone into a shop and picked something with Me in mind. Even if that is a fairly inexpensive gift, such as a bathbomb from Lush or a small selection of vegan chocolates, they have already begun thinking of how to please Me before even meeting with Me. It demonstrates they are already taking initiative to prove themselves to Me. The seriousness in which they approach their first session with Me bodes well.
  4. Giving Me My tribute in a sealed envelope or a card. Again, not mandatory, but still shows some thoughtfulness and attention to detail/protocol.
  5. Throughout their session, they communicate clearly with Me. First sessions tend to be a little bit of a learning curve. Submissives who utilise the traffic light system of 'Green, Amber and Red' which I give them make My role as the Top easier and help Me to figure out where their soft and hard limits are. Of course I wish to push My submissives boundaries, but I still want for that to be clearly within the bounds of consent. Extreme limit pushing is something I personally feel best left for when I know them better. Submissives who are vocal about their limits both before and during O/our play help Me Top and help the session flow more smoothly.
  6. Although this perhaps doesn't count as contributing to a first impression, I especially like when My submissives email Me a day or so after their session to tell Me a little more about how their experience went. Once again, to Me this shows some level of protocol and communication which I find very appealing in My submissives.

What behaviour do You wish You saw more of?

Along with what I have outlined as above on making a good first impression, I wish that more prospective slaves understood how time consuming the administration of Pro-Domme work is, and acted accordingly. Succinct, concise and clear communication at all times. Gently reminding Me of any previous communication W/we may have had. I must have dozens of 'Steve's' in My contact list, and it can be difficult to keep track of each individual! Reading the FAQ on My website rather than asking Me to repeat that same answer over email. Googling answers to more general questions about BDSM. When My interactions with My slaves are easy (and not time consuming), I very much appreciate it.

Have you ever sat for your portrait?

The wonderful Sardax sketched Me in London a few months ago. I highly recommend you check out more of his amazing work at Sardax.com

 

What's it like being a Mistress on Twitter?

Fun! Twitter is a fantastic platform to connect with other Dommes and submissives. I love it.

Do crossdressers turn you on? Would you have a crossdresser as a boyfriend?

Yes and yes 🙂

When did you first get turned on by using strap ons? Have you always wanted to fuck men with strap-ons?

I wouldn't say I have always wanted to peg men specifically, but I have always had a keen interest in kinky sex. I think I first delved into the world of strap on play when I was 20/21. Sadly none of My partners prior to that were kinksters.

What do you think should be the punishment for rapists?

This is by far the most thought provoking question out of all the ones I received, and one I could probably write an entire blog on itself, especially in the wake of the #MeToo movement. I realise that you likely want Me to say castrate them. The truth is a really don't know, and I don't have a clear answer for this question.

I believe that justice should be survivor led... that it is really up to the victims of their crimes what action would help them make peace with what has happened to them. I personally have very mixed feelings about the prison system insofar as how much that actually aids any rehabilitation, but understand why so many survivors/victims feel it important to punish people who have committed such life altering crimes against them. There is also restorative justice and community/accountability processes which seem to be gaining some traction in more radical communities by centering survivors/victims, although I have mixed feelings on these too. I struggle to see any real middle ground, with the only thing I am certain on is that survivors/victims and their healing is what is important, much more than what the general public feels would be a just punishment.

I am also of the belief that much of the work to protect victims/survivors can be done before rape happens. Rethinking our reporting system and making it easier. Believing victims/survivors when they break the silence. Never ever questioning what actions they took or didn't took and how that contributed to a crime which was perpetrated against them (because the only reason people are raped is because someone decides to rape them, and it has fuck all to do with short skirts or alcohol).

Most rapists rape more than once, because we have a culture which lets them. Boys will be boys, locker room talk, the bro code. Rapists get away with their crimes over and over because even if their victims/survivors do speak up, the likelihood is they will not be  believed, they will never go through the court system and they will never face any kind of justice/punishment. At the very least, I think there should be some social repercussions to being a rapist.  If you see a friend being creepy, call it out. If you find out a friend has committed an assault, confront them, ostracise them... just do ~something~. Do not respond with silence, because your silence is code for your approval.

I don't see any clear answer for 'what the punishment for rapists should be' because I think victims/survivors healing is what matters. But I think having a culture which empowers victims/survivors to speak up and which has serious social consequences for people who commit rape is a bare minimum.

Until next time…

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Manchester Mistress Lola Ruin • Professional Dominatrix