Earlier this week I welcomed a new novice slave into My chambers for his very first session. Afterwards, he sent Me an incredibly insightful email about his thoughts and (with his permission) here is a small excerpt which I thought I would discuss in further detail…
I was also really surprised and impressed by the way you conducted yourself in and out of our session, the contrast in personalities was not something I had expected, and correct me if I’m wrong but it really goes to show how societal conventions have forced us as humans to adapt in a manner that sufficiently satisfy the expectations and demands associated with our given environment. If you don’t mind me asking, when dommes such as yourself and Mistress Noir in this case, were laughing and mocking me during our session, was this a partially forced gesture for the sake of keeping to character, or did you really take genuine pleasure in seeing me act in that slavish manner, again within character?
Of course, I do get genuine pleasure from My sessions. I don’t accept sessions that don’t interest Me, and My services list is notably missing a few incredibly popular activities for the simple reason that I don’t enjoy and/or wish to engage in them with My submissives. It is important to Me that My work never feels like work, and I would rather lose out on sessions than accept anyone and everyone for the sake of My bank balance.
But there are other things at play in what My slave has said here too. There are a few reasons why My personality appears different during play time than outside of it…
It puts My new submissives at ease…
If I were to go into My consultations all guns blazing, I doubt My slaves would feel able to freely discuss their desires openly. Plus, not everyone is looking for the same thing. What My submissives desire from serving Me ranges. Some simply wish to relinquish control to Me for an hour of their day. Others are looking to be initiated into long-term D/s servitude, which takes time and training. I don’t believe either are inhibited by informality outside of play time.
I don’t believe in giving anything away for free!
If you email, call, tweet Me, you can expect Me to be courteous, professional, even sweet to you. This is not because I am not Dominant, it’s because I am not stupid… those who contact Me wish to be Dominated, and often that includes being degraded, humiliated, talked down to. I am fully aware of this, and also aware that there are many unscrupulous slaves. These slaves have no intention of ever tributing, and contact Me with inane questions/requests simply to get a rise from Me. In which case, I (politely) say no.
Only after you have tributed can you expect to feel My wrath… 🙂
I do not lead a 24/7 lifestyle…
I am sure many of My subs like to think I roll out of My bed straight into a latex catsuit, bark orders at everyone I encounter and permanently have a whip attached to My hand. I am afraid that is not the case. Not only would that be exhausting, but also incredibly impractical… I doubt I would get very far in life at all if I went around treating everyone as My submissives.
…But I love to play professionally and personally!
I was a bossy child, and I have always been kinky. Most Dommes I know say the same. Now that I am older, I’m a fairly zen, laid back person. My play time, both professional and personal, gives Me the opportunity to tap into an aspect of My character which isn’t viable for Me to live out all day every day.
Perhaps there will be some people reading this who will take the above as a chance to call into question My integrity as a Domme. That what I have said means I am not really lifestyle, not a true Dominant, not genuine. But in reality, the above is also true for so many of My submissives. Outside of O/our play, they are generally alpha, business men with a-type personalities. They lead stressful lives which they exert huge amounts of control over. I don’t question their submission as a result.
So I thought today I would write a more personal blog post, answering in a little more detail one of the questions I am most often asked by My subs…
‘How do people react you tell them you’re a Professional Dominatrix?’
Firstly let Me say that I am fortunate enough to live My life incredibly openly… My family all know what I do, and even more fortunately, they are accepting of the fact that I have landed in a line of work which makes Me happy… So as I have no one close to Me I need to protect, and no need to lie in order to protect them, when someone asks Me what My job is I have the luxury of honesty and say that I work as a Dominatrix.
(A few exceptions to this… If I am meeting someone in passing then occasionally I will tell a white lie for ease of conversation. Sometimes I just say I am self-employed (true) sometimes I say I work as a PA (My most recent vanilla job, easy to bullshit about and boring enough to not prompt too many questions) or sometimes I say I’m a video editor… but 99% of the time, I just tell the truth).
Generally, My admission leads to a host of other questions…
Do you have sex with your clients?
The most commonly asked and the easiest to answer… no I don’t. However, I class Myself as a sex worker, and have many friends who work as escorts and whose businesses are practically identical to Mine. We all trade in fantasy and sexuality, it just so happens that we trade within different facets of it.
Is it safe?
A legitimate question, and again easy to answer… Very. I usually elaborate, saying that I do a lot of My sessions online and have a video clip store off shoot (which allows Me to be selective about whom I session with in real time, making it even safer).
How did you get into it?
I’ve always been a kinky, open-minded, ‘GGG’ kind of girl. Then in My early 20’s I began playing with an ex-partner whom identified as submissive and who introduced Me to the concept of D/s. We experimented for a while, and it seemed an easy and natural progression for Me to go professional (with his support) and enjoy all the benefits of self-employment doing work I was passionate about.
What is the most bizarre thing you have ever done?
Bizarre is in the eye of the beholder. What is considered extreme, and where that line is drawn, differs from person to person. I usually say I have done all manner of unusual things but that most of My sessions revolve around more common, even vanilla fantasies, such as Domme/sub roleplay, shoe and foot worship, tease & denial and so on.
How much do you charge per hour?
I find this question the most offensive… not because I think it’s vulgar to talk about money, but because this is a polite way for someone to categorise Me as either an idiot or a smart business woman. I tend to tell them that I don’t work 9-5, and that a lot of My work is unpaid… administration, emails, promotion, accounts and book keeping (which answers another often asked question… ‘Does the taxman know?’), building and upkeeping My websites and much more. Whilst My hourly rate is impressive, it’s a smaller part of My work than most realise, and overall I come out with a ‘comfortable’ income.
What is your speciality?
If there is one question I am asked that makes Me blush (if at all) this is it. Especially if it’s by someone I am interested in dating… telling a hot guy/girl My talent lies in ruining orgasms is unlikely to be a conversational aphrodisiac*
Occasionally, telling people I meet that I am a Dominatrix doesn’t throw up more questions, but instead confessions… In fact, some of My closest friends are kinksters I’ve met at parties who upon hearing My admission have quickly made their own. Sharing kinky secrets quietly when surrounded by vanillas is always bonding, and the saying rings true… Birds of a feather… 🙂
I know I have spent years telling some of you miscreants to look out for this blog post, and now the time has finally come…
I am looking to recruit at least one personal bitch (possibly more depending on the calibre of replies I get) to assist with the day to day running of My increasingly hectic lifestyle.
For those of you who admire Me from afar but do not have the monetary funds to book a session, this is a rare and unique opportunity to build a D/s connection with Me in return for being useful to Me.
YOUR DUTIES AS MY BITCH:
This one is obvious. This will be in My home and possibly dungeon, and will include hoovering, mopping, washing dishes, laundry, polishing, scrubbing and so on.
You must hold a license, own a car and be a good driver.
This could include tasks such as administration, promotion, cooking, foot massage, running errands, gardening or DIY tasks.
(Ideally you would be able to perform all these duties, however applications to just serve Me as a cleaning maid or driver are also welcome.)
It is of paramount important you are able to provide references for Mistresses (either Pro-Domme or lifestyle) you have previously served, whether that be in a professional or personal arrangement.
This position which will involve being in My home. No turning up outside My front door in full maids attire and scaring My neighbours!
I have a lovely, friendly little dog (whom may from time to time need sitting/driving around with Me as part of your duties).
I am looking for a bitch who can dedicate at the very least weekly time to serving Me. If you can be flexible and available at short notice that is also a huge bonus.
The position of being My personal bitch does not require a tribute, but of course I do love being pampered with gifts/lunches out should you wish to demonstrate your gratitude. You are also not guaranteed any ‘play’, but if I feel so inclined you may get some… I do like to reward My bitches good behaviour!
To apply, email email@example.com and include details of duties you would perform/excel at, references and their contact information, availability, whereabouts you are based and any further information you think is appropriate (For clarity, dick pics are never appropriate…)