I just realised this past weekend that I passed a milestone in My career as a Professional Dominatrix… the anniversary of when I first started working at My very first Dungeon. It seems fitting to write a blog to reflect and celebrate 🙂
I adore what I do for a living, and I think the past year in particular I have fallen in love with it all over again. Before I became a Domme, I worked an awful minimum wage call centre job, which was the only job I could get after graduating into a recession. The anti-sex work brigade always cite ‘economic coercion’ as a major reason why people enter the adult industry. Personally I’m pretty sure anyone who has a job is economically coerced into it.
Whilst it was true that it was certainly the best career choice available to Me financially, it was also the most fun, exciting, interesting, stimulating, flexible… I could go on and on. Even now years later, when I could conceivably find another profession much more easily than I could as a recent graduate, I wouldn’t want to.
Don’t get Me wrong, there have been a few lows… the times when long serving, loyal slaves have moved on or been dismissed. When the government brings out legislation without consultation or warning that seriously impacts you. When the slew of time-wasters that all Us Dommes have to put up with have outnumbered the sessions. If the work just isn’t there it can be pretty disheartening, and when you are in a sense selling yourself, it’s hard not to take those quiet spells personally.
Not to mention the social stigma that can be attached to working in the adult industry… How that affects what friends/families/strangers/society think of you, how dating can be a minefield, how it can affect your future career choices and all the associated issues people working in My industry face (and on which I could write a dissertation about…)
But… the highs by far outnumber those lows, and the truth is that I LOVE My job. It has allowed Me to do so many incredible things, and I have ticked off some amazing goals. I’ve travelled and toured internationally. After opening My clip store, I was then invited to film for the amazing English Mansion, whom were so lovely to Me.
I’ve met so many fascinating and inspiring Dommes and subs, and I’ve slowly surrounded Myself with the most incredible group of friends whom accept what I do and are proud of Me for doing it. I’ve supported and cared for family members through tough times, which I absolutely would not have been able to do in any other job. I’ve been bought wonderful gifts by wonderfully generous slaves. It has allowed Me to be incredibly independent, and given Me financial freedom. I have become more confident, happy, self-assured…
And of course, I have had a ridiculous amount of kinky fun!
I also think that what I do is important, in it’s own way… I am sure a fair few of My subs agree with that sentiment. I have blogged before about how therapeutic I think BDSM can be, and I still very much believe that to be true.
I love the idea that I create a safe space where My subs can relinquish control and explore aspects of their sexuality they otherwise wouldn’t be able to. Doing that gives Me a real sense of fulfilment, which I am not sure another job could offer Me.
So to all My slaves, fans, and loyal blog readers, thank you for your continued support. It means a lot 🙂
Choose a job you love, and never work a day in your life…
A very quick blog today to let you know that My Venus 2000 machine is finally back in action and available during My real time sessions.
For those of you who are unfamiliar with the Venus 2000, here is a little excerpt from their official website…
Venus for Men is a high-tech, hands-free stroking masturbation machine. It’s durable, portable and quiet design allow the user to adjust the stroke length and stroke speed from 8 to 300 strokes per minute. Venus for Men is the only product on the market that allows you to reach orgasm with or without an erection. The custom receiver provides the user with a personalized fit to allow maximum pleasure with every use.
Of course, when I bring My Venus out to play, it is rarely about your pleasure… Just picture Me unlocking you from your chastity, strapping you down and edging you over and over again. Teasing you, denying you, and of course torturing you after your ruined orgasm has dribbled out of you. And if I am feeling particularly cruel, maybe I will even use My ‘conductive’ receiver to electro-shock your pathetic cock throughout…
Controlling your cock with the turn of a dial is just endless fun for Me. A Venus 2000 session is very much about MY pleasure, not yours 😉
A very quick update today to let you know that after a fairly long and haphazard hiatus, I am finally getting back into filming!
Unfortunately when certain regulations came into effect in December 2014, I became very disheartened. I continued to take custom requests from My most loyal fans but I moved away from filming for filming sake. It just seemed silly to Me to pool My time and resources into an aspect of My business which could become further criminalised at any time and without warning.
Now some time has passed though, and I feel a little better about putting out new content. Especially seeing as My clips are mostly provocative, non-nude POV style clips and not really traditionally pornographic in nature. I am sure this will make many of you as happy as it makes Me!
When I have a little more time I may well write a longer blog post about My views on censorship and pornography, but in the mean time here is some eye candy, teaser snapshots from My latest uploads…
You can check out all of these plus My past content here…
My C4S Store
I will now be filming one day per week, so plenty of regular updates with new content will be coming soon.
Of course you are welcome to submit a request for a custom clip here…
Custom Clip Request Form
Earlier this week I welcomed a new novice slave into My chambers for his very first session. Afterwards, he sent Me an incredibly insightful email about his thoughts and (with his permission) here is a small excerpt which I thought I would discuss in further detail…
I was also really surprised and impressed by the way you conducted yourself in and out of our session, the contrast in personalities was not something I had expected, and correct me if I’m wrong but it really goes to show how societal conventions have forced us as humans to adapt in a manner that sufficiently satisfy the expectations and demands associated with our given environment. If you don’t mind me asking, when dommes such as yourself and Mistress Noir in this case, were laughing and mocking me during our session, was this a partially forced gesture for the sake of keeping to character, or did you really take genuine pleasure in seeing me act in that slavish manner, again within character?
Of course, I do get genuine pleasure from My sessions. I don’t accept sessions that don’t interest Me, and My services list is notably missing a few incredibly popular activities for the simple reason that I don’t enjoy and/or wish to engage in them with My submissives. It is important to Me that My work never feels like work, and I would rather lose out on sessions than accept anyone and everyone for the sake of My bank balance.
But there are other things at play in what My slave has said here too. There are a few reasons why My personality appears different during play time than outside of it…
It puts My new submissives at ease…
If I were to go into My consultations all guns blazing, I doubt My slaves would feel able to freely discuss their desires openly. Plus, not everyone is looking for the same thing. What My submissives desire from serving Me ranges. Some simply wish to relinquish control to Me for an hour of their day. Others are looking to be initiated into long-term D/s servitude, which takes time and training. I don’t believe either are inhibited by informality outside of play time.
I don’t believe in giving anything away for free!
If you email, call, tweet Me, you can expect Me to be courteous, professional, even sweet to you. This is not because I am not Dominant, it’s because I am not stupid… those who contact Me wish to be Dominated, and often that includes being degraded, humiliated, talked down to. I am fully aware of this, and also aware that there are many unscrupulous slaves. These slaves have no intention of ever tributing, and contact Me with inane questions/requests simply to get a rise from Me. In which case, I (politely) say no.
Only after you have tributed can you expect to feel My wrath… 🙂
I do not lead a 24/7 lifestyle…
I am sure many of My subs like to think I roll out of My bed straight into a latex catsuit, bark orders at everyone I encounter and permanently have a whip attached to My hand. I am afraid that is not the case. Not only would that be exhausting, but also incredibly impractical… I doubt I would get very far in life at all if I went around treating everyone as My submissives.
…But I love to play professionally and personally!
I was a bossy child, and I have always been kinky. Most Dommes I know say the same. Now that I am older, I’m a fairly zen, laid back person. My play time, both professional and personal, gives Me the opportunity to tap into an aspect of My character which isn’t viable for Me to live out all day every day.
Perhaps there will be some people reading this who will take the above as a chance to call into question My integrity as a Domme. That what I have said means I am not really lifestyle, not a true Dominant, not genuine. But in reality, the above is also true for so many of My submissives. Outside of O/our play, they are generally alpha, business men with a-type personalities. They lead stressful lives which they exert huge amounts of control over. I don’t question their submission as a result.
So I thought today I would write a more personal blog post, answering in a little more detail one of the questions I am most often asked by My subs…
‘How do people react you tell them you’re a Professional Dominatrix?’
Firstly let Me say that I am fortunate enough to live My life incredibly openly… My family all know what I do, and even more fortunately, they are accepting of the fact that I have landed in a line of work which makes Me happy… So as I have no one close to Me I need to protect, and no need to lie in order to protect them, when someone asks Me what My job is I have the luxury of honesty and say that I work as a Dominatrix.
(A few exceptions to this… If I am meeting someone in passing then occasionally I will tell a white lie for ease of conversation. Sometimes I just say I am self-employed (true) sometimes I say I work as a PA (My most recent vanilla job, easy to bullshit about and boring enough to not prompt too many questions) or sometimes I say I’m a video editor… but 99% of the time, I just tell the truth).
Generally, My admission leads to a host of other questions…
Do you have sex with your clients?
The most commonly asked and the easiest to answer… no I don’t. However, I class Myself as a sex worker, and have many friends who work as escorts and whose businesses are practically identical to Mine. We all trade in fantasy and sexuality, it just so happens that we trade within different facets of it.
Is it safe?
A legitimate question, and again easy to answer… Very. I usually elaborate, saying that I do a lot of My sessions online and have a video clip store off shoot (which allows Me to be selective about whom I session with in real time, making it even safer).
How did you get into it?
I’ve always been a kinky, open-minded, ‘GGG’ kind of girl. Then in My early 20’s I began playing with an ex-partner whom identified as submissive and who introduced Me to the concept of D/s. We experimented for a while, and it seemed an easy and natural progression for Me to go professional (with his support) and enjoy all the benefits of self-employment doing work I was passionate about.
What is the most bizarre thing you have ever done?
Bizarre is in the eye of the beholder. What is considered extreme, and where that line is drawn, differs from person to person. I usually say I have done all manner of unusual things but that most of My sessions revolve around more common, even vanilla fantasies, such as Domme/sub roleplay, shoe and foot worship, tease & denial and so on.
How much do you charge per hour?
I find this question the most offensive… not because I think it’s vulgar to talk about money, but because this is a polite way for someone to categorise Me as either an idiot or a smart business woman. I tend to tell them that I don’t work 9-5, and that a lot of My work is unpaid… administration, emails, promotion, accounts and book keeping (which answers another often asked question… ‘Does the taxman know?’), building and upkeeping My websites and much more. Whilst My hourly rate is impressive, it’s a smaller part of My work than most realise, and overall I come out with a ‘comfortable’ income.
What is your speciality?
If there is one question I am asked that makes Me blush (if at all) this is it. Especially if it’s by someone I am interested in dating… telling a hot guy/girl My talent lies in ruining orgasms is unlikely to be a conversational aphrodisiac*
Occasionally, telling people I meet that I am a Dominatrix doesn’t throw up more questions, but instead confessions… In fact, some of My closest friends are kinksters I’ve met at parties who upon hearing My admission have quickly made their own. Sharing kinky secrets quietly when surrounded by vanillas is always bonding, and the saying rings true… Birds of a feather… 🙂